Leave It Like It Is (It’s Fine and So Are You)

I fight the tendency toward perfectionism on a nearly daily basis. I’m sure there are some deep rooted psychological reasons that make me freak out uneasy if things aren’t just so (with “just so” meaning “perfect”.) OCD, people-pleasing, high expectations, self-competition, control issues… Those feelings leave me procrastinating sometimes, with a feeling of “if you can’t do something right, don’t do it at all.” That’s probably one of the reasons I haven’t blogged much lately. I haven’t wanted to post any half-ass entries. If I can’t formulate a beginning, a middle and an ending in my mind before I sit down and write, I worry that it won’t be perfect and why put something out into internet history if it’s not perfect? Yes, my logical mind knows how crazy that sounds. Of course people put out “un”-perfect stuff all time.

But you know what? Perfection is a moving target. And really, what happens when you hit perfection? You want to get *even more* perfect. Like Instead of an A+, you want an A++. And heaven forbid you should ever get an A, or, gasp, an A-. (Which reminds me, does anyone else wonder how you can get higher than a 4.0 grade point average in school? If 4.0 is supposed to be perfect, how do people get even more than that?) If perfection is a moving target, that means perfection is simply how we individually define it. Perfect to me now is letting things get a little messy, a little unpredictable, a lot less controlling and a lot more just rolling with it, being myself and seeing what happens.

I don’t have much of a point with this entry, and maybe that’s the point exactly. I am just going to roll with it, and if I make any typos or grammar errors, or if I come across like a scatter-brained non-perfect girl, then I’m cool with that (because that’s what I am sometimes.) I’m going to leave it like it is, and I will be fine with it. I’m even going to post a typo on purposse, because I’m feeling so wild and crazie. (See, now whenever you notice a typo, you’ll be wondering, “Is this just a typo? Or is she in one of her wild and crazie moods again?”)

There’s a David Wilcox (an excellent singer-songwriter) song called, “Leave It Like It Is.” I heard it several years ago, but I don’t think it ever went mainstream. It’s one of those songs that pops into my head every so often and hangs out for a while. It has such a positive reminder to leave things like they are, they’re fine, even if they don’t happen as planned. Sometimes things are even better unplanned or unmatched or unperfect. The universe is unfolding just as it should. Your imperfections are what make you, you. And as Pink would say, “you’re f*ing perfect, to me.”

David Wilcox sings “Leave It Like It Is (It’s Fine)”

*Photo source

14 thoughts on “Leave It Like It Is (It’s Fine and So Are You)

  1. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    Perfection IS a moving target! I too have been perfectionist, absolutely. Good on you for this reflection. I needed to read it, too.

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    1. runningonsober Post author

      Hi N. I’m glad you can relate too. I hope you’re having a good day today (or are about to have a good day, being as you’re on the other side of the globe from me). I’ve been thinking about you. Always cheering for you… xo

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  2. Mrs D

    Great post. I’m definitely a D- today. Grumpy, flat and restless. But I like your loose stream-of-conscience post. Go the typos! xxx

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    1. runningonsober Post author

      On the bright side, at least a D- is not a Fail, right? Ugh, I hope your day got better. I have my fair share of flat and restless days- like a tiger in a cage stalking back and forth, back and forth, waiting for someone “crazie” enough to get their hands too close to my cage so I can let ‘em have it. I always admire how you just put it out there on those crappy days. I don’t tend to post when I’m feeling down, but I think I’m going to give it a try to get out of my comfort zone. I’m about to fix some herbal tea- I’ll send some cheery thoughts your way friend. xo

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  3. belowhermeans

    I can relate so much, especially about blogging lately. I feel like if posts aren’t wrapped up in a tidy beginning, middle, and end with some overarching, thought-provoking lesson, no one will read them. We are too hard on ourselves.

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    1. runningonsober Post author

      “We are too hard on ourselves.” Ain’t it the truth? I think it’s important to strive to improve and to always do one’s best, but at the same time, let’s be nice and understanding of ourselves too. As byebyebeer would say, :) I plan on getting a little messy with my posts- tidy package be damned- part of that whole wild and “crazie” thing. Ha! Thanks for stopping by dear B. xo

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  4. soberinoctober

    I have gotten a lot better in the last few years with letting things slide, but I still tend to be kind of anal about my appearance. So, the other week, I said to myself “F**k it. No hair and makeup for me this week!” Trust me girl. That was HUGE for me. I’m all about keeping it polished and put together. Some of the days I did break down mid-day and slap on some mascara because, damn, I look like a pigeon without something on my eyes. But, OMG, the extra time I had in the morning!! I sat my lay ass down on the couch and vegetated for an hour before I had to go to work. No flat iron, no makeup, nothing. It was bliss.

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    1. runningonsober Post author

      I *totally* understand. You don’t know this, but you are talking to the Eye Liner Queen. If I was trapped on a desert island, forget the food and medical supplies- give me an endless supply of kohl eyeliner! I think we are about the same age, so you will probably remember the age of burning eyeliner with your folks’ stolen lighter and teasing hair a mile high with the pink Aqua Net?
      I will say that’s one of the great unplanned consequence of running though. 95% of the time, I don’t wear any makeup when I run because it will just end up a streaky sweat soaked mess. And running more and more often, I’m getting used to seeing myself in the mirror sans make-up. I’ll bet you look quite lovely without all the “stuff”, it’s just funny how we get used to seeing ourselves. I think I read somewhere it takes 14 days to develop a sticking habit? (see where I’m going with this???) xo

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      1. soberinoctober

        Funny note on the eyeliner: I work in a high end day spa with some really top of the line products. I get a ripping deal on all of them so I use only “the best” eyeliner available. Yeah right.

        I was so pissed with the smudgy crap one day that I was bitching to my owner (another 80′s big haired metal head) “F**k this sh*t! I just want my Wet & WIld back with a lighter.”

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  5. byebyebeer

    Haha, this post made me laugh around the part about the typo…love your sense of humor. Boy can I relate to the perfectionism, though I’m also lazy so it’s a real challenge to be both. I wish you would write as much as you want, whenever you feel like it — if it feels good to put it out there, just know you’re helping someone else out….lots of people, actually.

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    1. runningonsober Post author

      Awww, thank you so much K., you put a big ole smile on my face. I just mentioned to Mrs. D. that I think I’m going to try just posting whatever, whenever, even if I’m in a crappy mood just to bust out of my expectations and comfort zone. As my mom used to say though, “Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.”
      It’s nice to think that I’m helping others (“gotta give it away to keep it” and all that jazz…). I’ve been mulling over the reasons why to blog in my head- is it ego, is it desire to help, is it the desire to connect- I haven’t come up with a firm answer yet, but I’ll probably post/ramble about it in the next week or so. Hope you have a great weekend!

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  6. Ash

    This post is a God send (see how the universe uses what you think is imperfect to help others?!) I too, struggle daily with perfectionism. Everything has to be just perfect in my life…Just reading your purposely typed typos made my heart beat a little faster! Thank you so much for this post, and your insight on perfection being a moving target. Taking time to reflect on things like this helps to take the heavy cloak of perfectionsim off.

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    1. runningonsober Post author

      Hi Ash! You just made my night, thamk you!

      Perfectionism tends to be a recurring theme in my life, but I’m getting better at just letting go (cuz isn’t perfectionism just another way of trying to control every little aspect of what we feel is controllable?).

      You’d probably like a few of Anne Lamott’s quotes here: http://runningonsober.com/2013/05/25/words-for-the-weekend-breathe-anne-lamott-and-the-vigil-volume-xiiir-repost/

      And maybe my current post from today on comparison being the thief of joy.

      So glad the univerrse sent you my way! Thank you for sharing with me!
      xoxo, Christy

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