I fight the tendency toward perfectionism on a nearly daily basis. I’m sure there are some deep rooted psychological reasons that make me
freak out uneasy if things aren’t just so (with “just so” meaning “perfect”.) OCD, people-pleasing, high expectations, self-competition, control issues… Those feelings leave me procrastinating sometimes, with a feeling of “if you can’t do something right, don’t do it at all.” That’s probably one of the reasons I haven’t blogged much lately. I haven’t wanted to post any half-ass entries. If I can’t formulate a beginning, a middle and an ending in my mind before I sit down and write, I worry that it won’t be perfect and why put something out into internet history if it’s not perfect? Yes, my logical mind knows how crazy that sounds. Of course people put out “un”-perfect stuff all time.
But you know what? Perfection is a moving target. And really, what happens when you hit perfection? You want to get *even more* perfect. Like Instead of an A+, you want an A++. And heaven forbid you should ever get an A, or, gasp, an A-. (Which reminds me, does anyone else wonder how you can get higher than a 4.0 grade point average in school? If 4.0 is supposed to be perfect, how do people get even more than that?) If perfection is a moving target, that means perfection is simply how we individually define it. Perfect to me now is letting things get a little messy, a little unpredictable, a lot less controlling and a lot more just rolling with it, being myself and seeing what happens.
I don’t have much of a point with this entry, and maybe that’s the point exactly. I am just going to roll with it, and if I make any typos or grammar errors, or if I come across like a scatter-brained non-perfect girl, then I’m cool with that (because that’s what I am sometimes.) I’m going to leave it like it is, and I will be fine with it. I’m even going to post a typo on purposse, because I’m feeling so wild and crazie. (See, now whenever you notice a typo, you’ll be wondering, “Is this just a typo? Or is she in one of her wild and crazie moods again?”)
There’s a David Wilcox (an excellent singer-songwriter) song called, “Leave It Like It Is.” I heard it several years ago, but I don’t think it ever went mainstream. It’s one of those songs that pops into my head every so often and hangs out for a while. It has such a positive reminder to leave things like they are, they’re fine, even if they don’t happen as planned. Sometimes things are even better unplanned or unmatched or unperfect. The universe is unfolding just as it should. Your imperfections are what make you, you. And as Pink would say, “you’re f*ing perfect, to me.”
David Wilcox sings “Leave It Like It Is (It’s Fine)”