Tag Archives: hope

Words For The Weekend (“There Goes a Fighter”, “It Will Be Sunny One Day”), Volume 28

This is the latest installment of quotes and words that move me for the weekend of 2/9/13 (Volume 28). I hope you enjoy them too.

As most of you know, Spot’s diagnosis came back as high-grade, large-cell, multi-centric lymphoma. We have opted to “get medieval on cancer’s ass” (see video below) with weekly chemo starting this Wednesday. I am immersing myself in canine cancer research and spending time with Spot, but I will try to put out the  occasional update post and inspirational weekend quotes and music post. Oh, it turns out my sugar-free January experiment may have been good practice because we will be making some big changes to Spot’s diet and nutrition (in a nutshell, sugar is bad, bad, bad for cancer patients as it feeds the cancer cells). The good news is, fat is good for cancer dogs- and bacon is full of it AND it’s sugar-free!

If bad-language doesn’t offend you, check out this video clip from Pulp Fiction… HERE… we’re pretty far from okay, but we’re going to fight!  (Link is not suitable for work or young ears due to language.)

~~~

“Until the referee rings the bell
Until both your eyes start to swell
Until the crowd goes home
What we gonna do y’all?
Give ‘em hell, turn their heads
Gonna live life til we’re dead.
Give me scars, give me pain
Then they’ll say to me, say to me, say to me
There goes a fighter, there goes a fighter
Here comes a fighter
That’s what they’ll say to me, say to me
Say to me, this one’s a fighter…”

~ Gym Class Heroes, “The Fighter”, on album “The Papercut Chronicles II“, video link HERE.

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Alternate song: “Move Along” performed by All American Rejects from “Move Along“, video link HERE

“Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you’ve had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along…
When everything is wrong, we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along…”

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“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.” ~ Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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letter page 1

April 10, 2006

Dear Crystal,

I’m so sorry to hear that life is getting you down at the moment. Goodness knows, it can be so tough when nothing seems to fit and little seems to be fulfilling. I’m not sure there’s any specific advice I can give that will help bring life back its savour. Although they mean well, it’s sometimes quite galling to be reminded how much people love you when you don’t love yourself that much.

I’ve found that it’s of some help to think of one’s moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather:

Here are some obvious things about the weather:

It’s real.
You can’t change it by wishing it away.
If it’s dark and rainy it really is dark and rainy and you can’t alter it.
It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row.

BUT

It will be sunny one day.
It isn’t under one’s control as to when the sun comes out, but come out it will.
One day.

It really is the same with one’s moods, I think. The wrong approach is to believe that they are illusions. They are real. Depression, anxiety, listlessness – these are as real as the weather – AND EQUALLY NOT UNDER ONE’S CONTROL. Not one’s fault.

BUT

They will pass: they really will.

In the same way that one has to accept the weather, so one has to accept how one feels about life sometimes. “Today’s a crap day,” is a perfectly realistic approach. It’s all about finding a kind of mental umbrella. “Hey-ho, it’s raining inside: it isn’t my fault and there’s nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage.”

I don’t know if any of that is of any use: it may not seem it, and if so, I’m sorry. I just thought I’d drop you a line to wish you well in your search to find a little more pleasure and purpose in life.

Very best wishes

(Signed)

Stephen Fry

From site: Letters of Note

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“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ~ Maya Angelou

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“What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again.” ~ Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

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“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places. But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” ~ St. Francis of Assisi, The Little Flowers of St. Francis of Assisi

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“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” ~ Neil Gaiman, Coraline

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“Sometimes I go about pitying myself
And all the while
I am being carried across the sky
By beautiful clouds”  ~ Ojibway Expression

*

“Instead of feeling bad
Be glad you got somewhere to go
Instead of feeling sad
Be happy you’re not all alone
Instead of feeling low
Get high on everything you love
Instead of wastin’ time
Feel good ’bout what you are dreaming of…

Instead of feelin’ broke
Buck up and get yourself in the black
Instead of losing hope
Touch up the things that feel out of whack
Instead of being old
Be young because you know you are
Instead of feeling cold
Let sunshine into your heart…”

~ Madeleine Peyroux, “Instead” from album “Bare Bones“, VIDEO

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“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” ~ Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey

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HOPE IS THE THING WITH FEATHERS-

BY EMILY DICKINSON

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops – at all -
And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard -
And sore must be the storm -
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm -
I’ve heard it in the chillest land -
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet – never – in Extremity,
It asked a crumb – of me.

Emily Dickinson, “‘Hope’ is the Thing with Feathers” from The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson

~~~

I Am Full of Insatiable Hope for 2013 (and an updated contact and resources page)

I’m a sucker for stuff like this (Google’s year-end video):

I’ve read and heard how so many of us are saying good riddance to 2012, but when I see videos like the one above, I’m reminded yet again of what a pretty awesome world we live in. (Don’t you love the polar bear at 2:22? Awwwww!)

2012, a leap year, was made up of 366 days that are now gone from our lives. We’ll never have those days or that time again. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to waste anymore of my days or squander time or spend my life living in the past when I have no way of knowing how much time I’ll have in the future. I’ve done enough of that. I’m ready to live.

I hope that everyone reading this is fortunate enough to live — truly live, not just exist – and to fully experience each of 2013′s 365 days. I hope they find you happy, healthy, kind and grateful.

I recently told a friend, “I am still full of insatiable hope.”

Insatiable… isn’t that a great word?

And it’s true, I am. Insatiable. I’m very very excited about 2013… Hopeful, optimistic, encouraged. I have a few key areas of my life I plan to focus on, and I look forward to using this blog as a way of capturing and sharing the highs and the lows of the coming year. Don’t worry, I’m working on that post now for later this week. While I’ve enjoyed my mini-hiatus, I’m excited about writing and running and searching and sharing with you.

* I recently updated my “Contact and Resources” page. If you would like to e-mail me for any reason, you’ll find my info there. And if you are starting this year a little less hopeful and excited than I, and you need some help from someone but you don’t know where to turn, I have a full listing of help and contact numbers and resources. Or if you are excited about getting sober or clean, you’ll find some links and info there too. (Don’t forget I keep a “Recovery Blogroll” of other great sober bloggers–many of whom focus primarily on sobriety in their writing. We all have our own styles and focuses, so check a few out if you are sober or working on it.)

I hope you all enjoy this first day of 2013! To my sober friends, isn’t it nice to not be hung over today?! To my non-sober friends, (in my whispered tone), been there done that haha, drink lots of water today and pop a few Advil and read this from lifehacker.

Good luck to my Georgia Bulldogs who play Nebraska in the Capital One Bowl today. Go Dawgs! Sic ‘em! Woof, woof, woof! (Yeah, it’s a Georgia thing. :) )

***

Waking up this morning, I smile,
Twenty four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live fully in each moment
and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.  Thich Nhat Hanh

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It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.  Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

***

Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt, crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can,
tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely,
with too high a spirit to be cumbered
with your old nonsense.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Words For The Weekend (“My religion is kindness” – the Dalai Lama XIV edition), Volume 22

This is the latest installment of quotes and words that move me for the weekend of 12/22/12 (Volume 22). I hope you enjoy them too.

This weekend’s quotes are all from His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama. You may learn more about him on his website dalailama.com and on his wiki page. He’s even on Twitter. The Dalai Lama has written many books–most are available via Amazon.

~~~

“Here’s a wishing well
Here’s a penny for
Any thought it is
That makes you smile
Every diamond dream
Everything that brings
Love and happiness
To your life

You will always have a lucky star
That shines because of what you are
Even in the deepest dark
Because your aim is true
And if I could only have one wish
Darling, then it would be this
Love and happiness for you”

~ Emmylou Harris and Mark Knopfler, “Love and Happiness”, on  album “All the RoadRunning“, video link HERE.

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Alternate Song: “(What’s so Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding” by Nick Lowe, on album “Quiet Please, The New Best of Nick Lowe“, video link HERE.

“As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin’ for light in the darkness of insanity.

I ask myself
Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred and misery?

And each time I feel like this inside,
There’s one thing I wanna know:
What’s so funny ’bout peace love & understanding?”

*

“There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’

No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster…

When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways–either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

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“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

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“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

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“Sometimes we feel that one individual’s action is very insignificant.  Then we think, of course, that effects should come from channeling or from a unifying movement.  But the movement of the society, community or group of people means joining individuals.  Society means a collection of individuals, so that initiative must come from individuals.  Unless each individual develops a sense of responsibility, the whole community cannot move.  So therefore, it is very essential that we should not feel that individual effort is meaningless- you should not feel that way.  We should make an effort.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

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“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

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“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

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“There is only one important point you must keep in your mind and let it be your guide. No matter what people call you, you are just who you are. Keep to this truth. You must ask yourself how is it you want to live your life. We live and we die, this is the truth that we can only face alone. No one can help us, not even the Buddha. So consider carefully, what prevents you from living the way you want to live your life?” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

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“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

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“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

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“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

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“Human beings by nature want happiness and do not want suffering.  With that
feeling everyone tries to achieve happiness and tries to get rid of suffering, and everyone has the basic right to do this.  In this way, all here are the same, whether rich or poor, educated or uneducated, Easterner or Westerner, believer or non-believer, and within believers whether Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and so on.  Basically, from the viewpoint of real human value we are all the same.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

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NEVER GIVE UP
No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country
Is spent developing the mind
Instead of the heart
Be compassionate
Not just to your friends
But to everyone
Be compassionate
Work for peace
In your heart and in the world
Work for peace
And I say again
Never give up
No matter what is going on around you
Never give up
~ Dalai Lama XIV

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Liz at Let’s Talk About Lit, shared the following poem in her brilliant post Less Blame, More Peace: My Plan. (with Wordsworth’s “Ode of Intimations of Immortality”) though I am only sharing a stanza. I encourage you to read the full poem, Liz’s touching analysis and her ideas on how “we can be more peaceful with very little effort.” (If you enjoy the quotes and poems I share, you will love her blog.)

“Ode of Intimations of Immortality” – William Wordsworth

What though the radiance which was once so bright

Be now for ever taken from my sight,

     Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;

     We will grieve not, rather find

     Strength in what remains behind;

     In the primal sympathy

     Which having been must ever be;

     In the soothing thoughts that spring

     Out of human suffering;

     In the faith that looks through death,

In years that bring the philosophic mind.

The Collected Poems of William Wordsworth (Wordsworth Poetry Library)” by William Wordsworth

~~~

Sunday Words on Hope, Guns, Annabelle and Hands

I could not find appropriate words for yesterday’s Words For the Weekend post. But while words failed me, some of you have shared poignant thoughts that I would like to share.

Please enjoy the following selections: a poem on hope submitted by kind reader Elle, a few quotes on hope, links and further reading on the delicate subjects of guns and issues facing The United States in the aftermath of tragedy, and a couple of songs that have been echoing in my mind this weekend.

If you have any quotes, poems or songs of hope or encouragement, please feel free to share in the comments; I will include them in next weekend’s Words post.

I wish you all a week of peace and healing.

***

HOPE (shared by reader Elle, written by Elle’s beautiful poet friend)

“Please help me to remember when my heart is dark with sorrow
that even this most pressing grief will ease on some tomorrow,
For so the cycle always goes, if I could just remember;
but I forget that spring exists when I am in December.

As part of life is pain, so surely part is also pleasure,
won’t happiness that follows tears seem all the more a treasure?
So mourning, help me please believe that there will yet be laughter,
for after all, the darkest night has sunrise follow after.

I know I look too closely at the trouble life is giving;
Yet take for granted many things that make my life worth living.
As if the fact that bad exists, means goodness cannot find me;
Yet good things happen every day, won’t someone please remind me?

It matters less what happens than it matters how one views it,
but life looks dark and cold to one whose grieving heart imbues it.
And it is winter in my life; but please don’t let grief blind me
to the good things and to hope of spring once sorrow lies behind me.”

***

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. ~ Albert Camus

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Sorrow fully accepted brings its own gifts. For there is alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmitted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness. ~ Pearl S. Buck, The Child Who Never Grew

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Whether you’ve seen angels floating around your bedroom or just found a ray of hope at a lonely moment, choosing to believe that something unseen is caring for you can be a life-shifting exercise. ~ Martha Beck

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We stumble on… bring a little noise into the silence, find in others the ongoing of ourselves.  It is almost enough… The world spins.  We stumble on.  It is enough. ~ Colum McCann, Let the Great World Spin

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In his blog “Better Living Through Beowolf: How great literature can change your life”, Dr. Robin Bates quotes Matthew 2:18 on The Massacre of the Innocents and then shares from Melville’s Moby Dick:

“But by her still halting course and winding, woeful way, you plainly saw that this ship that so wept with spray, still remained without comfort. She was Rachel, weeping for her children, because they were not.” 

Bates goes on to write:

To this oceanic sadness I add my anger at anyone who, because of political expedience, avarice or other base motives, refuses to seriously grapple with America’s gun problem, especially the easy access to automatic weapons.

I’ve read many outstanding posts about the need to address our nation’s current gun laws. I do not know the solution, but I, as I’m sure the following bloggers, would agree that something is broken:

Gus at Out Where the Buses Don’t Run shares in “When Is The Time To Have That Discussion on Gun Control?“:

Now is not the time for hysteria and finger-pointing. There are 20 dead children to be buried, 20 pairs of parents whose grief cannot possibly be measured. Not to mention the grief and confusion the father of the shooter and the husband of the shooter’s mother must be feeling right now. Now is not the time for empty rhetoric and false promises. But the time will come, and it’s incumbent upon all of us, parents and spouses, voters and elected officials, lobbyists and concerned citizens, to have a measured, intelligent, and MATURE conversation about what gun control means, without compromise, without the taint of lobbying and money.

Susan at Recovering Life shares in “A country gone awry:

Gun control would help, wider availability of treatment for mental health problems would help. But the increasing massacres of innocents are only one of so many indicators of things gone awry–homicide rates, suicide rates, drug addiction, alcoholism, divorce, poverty, school drop-outs, homelessness, joblessness, depression, anxiety, PTSD, child abuse, and on and on–that I wake up in the night afraid.  Something is rotten at the core.

Caitlin Kelly, author of Blown Away: American Women and Guns, at Broadside Blog shares in “Why the next shooting massacre is (sadly) inevitable“:

– It has been said that 25 percent of Americans will suffer from mental illness during their lifetime. On any given day, then, there is a percentage of the population for whom ready access to a weapon and ammunition is deeply unwise. Co-relate this statistic with the number of Americans whose home contains a gun.

– Forty-seven percent of Americans own a gun. This is the highest rate of gun ownership since 1993. (source: Gallup poll.) There is no way to know when or how these two factors intersect.

***

As always, when I can’t seem to find words for my feelings and emotions, I turn to music and song. The first speaks to a parent’s loss and being left to wonder “why?” The second speaks to the buoyancy of the human spirit. Yes, we are heart-broken, but we cannot stay idle with despair–we must carry on, we must.

“Annabelle” by Gillian Welch (video)

I had a daughter called her Annabelle
She’s the apple of my eye
Tried to give her something like I never had
Didn’t want to ever hear her cry

We cannot have all things to please us
No matter how we try
‘Til we’ve all gone to Jesus
We can only wonder why

*

“Hands” by Jewel (video)

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we’re all OK
And not to worry ’cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won’t be made useless
I won’t be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they’re not yours, they are my own
But they’re not yours, they are my own
And we are never broken

~~~

Words For The Weekend (Head Full of Caged Singing Birds) Volume XI

This is the latest installment of quotes and words that move me for the weekend of 9/29/12 (Volume XI). I hope you enjoy them too.

~~~

There was a dream and one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it
And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I’ll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out

~ The Avett Brothers “Head Full of Doubt/ Road Full of Promise” (lyrics here) from album “I And Love And You

(Album also features a favorite of mine “January Wedding” (live version HERE). Album “The Gleam” features another favorite “If It’s the Beaches.” It’s so beautiful it makes me cry: “Take whatever what you think of, While I go gas up the truck, Pack the old love letters up, We will read them when we forget why we left here…” (video HERE). I had a really tough time picking one song to spotlight. This band is so talented; check them out, you’ll be glad you did.)

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You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. ~ Marcus Aurelius

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And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~ Sylvia Plath

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And your doubt can become a good quality if you train it. It must become knowing, it must become criticism. Ask it, whenever it wants to spoil something for you, why something is ugly, demand proofs from it, test it, and you will find it perhaps bewildered and embarrased, perhaps also protesting. But don’t give in, insist on arguments, and act in this way, attentive and persistent, every single time, and the day will come when, instead of being a destroyer, it will become one of your best workers–perhaps the most intelligent of all the ones that are building your life. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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You are lucky to be one of those people who wishes to build sand castles with words, who is willing to create a place where your imagination can wander. We build this place with the sand of memories; these castles are our memories and inventiveness made tangible. So part of us believes that when the tide starts coming in, we won’t really have lost anything, because actually only a symbol of it was there in the sand. Another part of us thinks we’ll figure out a way to divert the ocean. This is what separates artists from ordinary people: the belief, deep in our hearts, that if we build our castles well enough, somehow the ocean won’t wash them away. I think this is a wonderful kind of person to be. ~ Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

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I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death. ~ Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

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There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must of felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.
Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget, that until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, ‘Wait and Hope.’ ~ Alexandre Dumas

*

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all. ~ Emily Dickinson

*

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
‘Cause there’s too many places I’ve got to see. ~ Lynyrd Skynyrd, “Free Bird

*

I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS by Dr. Maya Angelou

The free bird leaps
on the back of the win
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

“I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” by Dr. Maya Angelou, from “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” available at Amazon HERE

~~~

* It wouldn’t be right to quote “Free Bird” without it closing the show:

It’s Like a Win-Win For Everyone (Thank You *All* For Inspiring Me)

When my blogging friend Porkchop nominated me for The One Lovely Blog Award and The Inspiring Blog Award last week, I really was touched. She had written a beautiful post about her relationship with her mom and about their efforts to both get and stay sober (read it here), so beautiful that it made me cry. When I complimented her on it, she mentioned she had been inspired in part to write it after reading my “Henry Rollins Had Me Pegged” piece. The thought that my high school angst had played a small part in inspiring someone else to share such moving intimate thoughts about her relationship with her mom, man, that was just really special. And then she went along a little later and nominated me for a couple of awards?! Wow. Even more special.

I admit it, I love hearing that I inspire others. It’s not so much that it makes me feel good; it does, but it’s mostly that I am happy that the other person feels inspired and encouraged to do something to make an impact. Whether it is to write, to start running, to call a mom and say “I love you,” to feel comfortable enough to declare one’s sobriety or clean date, to eat mindfully, to smile, to not drink today, to leave that very first daunting comment on a public blog, to eat bacon pizza… Any of those things make a positive mark on you, on me, and on those around you. It’s a small way for us all to pay it forward, because when we inspire someone, they are in turn inspired to do the same. It’s like a win-win for everyone.

So I hope you understand when I tell you that you ALL inspire me. You really do. Your comments, your posts, your likes, your smileys, your rants, your poems, your successes, your milestones, your fears, your stumbles, your bravery, your friendship, your virtual hugs… you all inspire me to write, to show up, to stay sober and present, to do my best. You remind me that I’m not alone out here and that I’m not the only misfit, maladjusted, typically misunderstood, trying-my-best soul out there. And when I am mad at the world and I want to curl into a ball and listen to Nine Inch Nail’s “The Fragile” and cry and think of regrets and my mom and that crystal clear bottle of liquid comfort that I miss more than I let on, well I somehow manage to dig a little deeper to get out of bed, switch off Trent and NIN, switch on Flav and Public Enemy, and get out there to run, to fight the power, to not drink, and to hopefully inspire other kindreds to do the same.

Yes, I know I’m supposed to nominate a handful of others. But I’m gonna fight the powers that be and nominate you ALL. If you are reading this, in some form or fashion, you are fighting the power and you inspire me to do the same. You are lovely and you are inspiring and you are awesome and I thank you. From the bottom of my messed-up misfit heart, I thank you.

But I’ll play along a little bit and post seven random things about myself. If you accept this nomination, you are free to pass it along to whomever you’d like or not, and you are free to share some random things about yourself or not. I think it would be cool to learn some random stuff about you though, so come on, play along!

1- In my past life (i.e. a few years ago), I was a semi-pro poker player. I played and cashed in the World Series of Poker Main Event and got to be friends with Mr. Celine Dion after sitting by him at a table for a long time. (When he taps his left pinkie, it’s a tell. Just kidding. Maybe.) I was even on tv a couple of times.

2- My favorite ice cream flavor is chocolate peanut butter from Baskin-Robbins. My second favorite flavor is coffee; I think I love it so much because I would always order it with my grandmother when she took me out for ice cream- it made me feel like an adult. Today, it makes me think about her.

3- I love music of all kinds. Big surprise right? But if I had to pick a favorite all-time artist, I would pick Sade. I saw her in concert with my aunt when I was young, and she was so glamorous, ethereal, and angelic. It was like I was hypnotized. I’ve loved her ever since.

4- I’ve always had a pet in my home. I love all animals, great and small. My first dog was a mutt named Toaster. He was a frisbee dog and he would chase me around the yard nipping at my diaper. I loved that little terror, and he loved me.

5- I did not go to my own high school prom. I did buy a prom dress though- it was a red crushed velvet form-fitting number I found at Hot Topic. It was too expensive, so I talked one of the guys that worked there into buying it for me with his employee discount and said he could take me to my prom in it. (I had no shame then either.) Well I got my dress and he ended up having to work anyway, so I didn’t have to go to prom. I was not disappointed.

6- I am big into Shakespeare and acting and I once won a Southern California Recital Award for a piece I performed from “The Taming of the Shrew.” I thought it rather fitting.

7- The current cd in my car stereo is 16 Horsepower’s “Sackcloth ‘n’ Ashes.” It’s way awesome. And I have my friend Rutabaga, The Mercenary Researcher to thank for suggesting it to me.

In closing, I do want to thank and spotlight a few folks. Not for awards or anything, you’re ALL award winners, but for getting me started in blogging and for keeping me blogging:

These four ladies were there at the beginning and helped me muster up the courage to post my first blog pieces. They continue to inspire me today:

The Act of Returning to Normal
ByeByeBeer
October 09
Window of Wisdom

These three bloggers are the newest additions to my recovery blog roll. I thank them for taking those first courageous steps in blogging and in chronicling sober living, and I wish them the best in all they do. Please visit their pages when you have time to do so:

Balancing This Life of Mine
Sober On Life
Without a Glass

* I also must thank Karen at A Life Less Scripted and Rutabaga The Mercenary Researcher who have been with me for a while too (despite my attempts to scare them off). They each nominated me for blog awards early on, and quite frankly I was too new to know how to respond. I also thank a new friend Carrie Rubin at The Write Transition for the great idea of spotlighting these awards on a dedicated page. (She is really smart and funny and has just published a medical thriller novel that I look forward to reading when I finish the never-ending Game of Thrones series. Check her out if you like nice and funny people!)

Walked out this morning
Don’t believe what I saw
A hundred billion bottles
Washed up on the shore
Seems I’m not alone at being alone
A hundred billion castaways
Looking for a home ~ “Message in a Bottle” by The Police